


Saudade

by MaskedAgony



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Angst, F/M, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mild Smut, One Night Stands, One Shot, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, Phone Calls & Telephones, Smut, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28136466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskedAgony/pseuds/MaskedAgony
Summary: I was inspired by 'Glass Animals - Heat Waves' for this work.If you're a fan of Dream SMP you know this song is corrupting of your fyp xDI might venture into writing for Dream SMP related individuals but I supposed we shall, wont we :P
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Saudade

> Pitter Patter
> 
> Pitter Patter

The droplets beat themselves against the planes of glass that lined his bedroom wall, exposing the wet asfalt and the occasional reflection of a car's headlights. 

He felt warm, heavy. His large, veiny hands combing back his unruly, raven locks of hair before allowing his brown, honeycomb eyes to blink away the sleep that laid in the corner of his eyes. The sound of rain drops pleating against the glass being interrupted by a grumble of thunder from the clouds above; it was as if mother nature knew of the reality he now had. The small tussling behind him, causing him to sit up and glance at the figure not familiar to him. Her long blonde hair no doubt having knots while her skin exposed various bruises; it was clear his handling had been anything but nurturing towards the unknown woman that laid beside him. He could only imagine the hassle she would be upon her arising from her slumber. 

As though interrupting his thoughts, the flash of a bolt of lightning cracked through the sky. It took him little time to pull up his black and white checkered sleep pants, the cotton proving to be soothing in a manner similar to  _ she _ had. 

  
  


_ “I hate them.” _

_ He had grumbled with such disapproval before pushing those very black and white checkered bottoms back at her from across the bed. Despite his disapproval, she had simply puffed her cheeks in the most adorable way before shoving the pants right back to him.  _

_ “Come on~ you and I both know you can’t spend another night sleeping in dress pants.” _

_ She was right, as she usually was, with winter having taken over the Boston area, he found himself shivering under the silk sheets of his bed. He opened his mouth to protest only to be met with a delicate finger to his lips.  _

_ “You’ll thank me later!” _

  
  


_ He never got to thank her. _

The pants that once had been soothing to his skin, now becoming irritating; it had become another reminder of  _ her _ . 

As he stood, observing the room he had been calling his for some ten years now, seemed anything from homie. The touch  _ she _ had given it, now gone like a distant memory. A lick of cold air brushed upon his bare back, causing the towering man to shiver. 

It was with much reluctance that he left the room, letting his bare feet drag across the dark oak floors. Coffee, coffee would warm him up, it would distract him. The kitchen was that of an open concept, exposing the hardly used living room to his view. Similar to that of his quarters, a single wall was that of a glass pane, exposing the sky. The sky was covered with that of dark grey clouds and large droplets of water falling from the cloud’s grasp. A small glance was all he could be bothered to give the dark weather before allowing his hands to grab the small silver knob of the kitchen cabinet and exposing the contents of the cupboard. 

As though mocking him, a red mug stood proud, the picture of a small orange tabby with a heart next to its sitting form. 

  
  


_ The mug sat upon a marbled countertop, coffee cooling with time and exposure to the bare apartment air. _

_ “Ky-Kylo!” _

_ A moan ripped through her throat, as her bare chest laid flat against the counters surface. That had been her birthday? Valentine's Day? He couldn't recall.  _

_ “That’s right, whore. Cum on my cock!” _

_ Sex had been passionate, rough. The way her pussy fluttered around his cock at his words, causing him to hold back a whimper in his throat. The way her face looked smudged against the counter, her hair still tied up and messy from a restless sleep. He had hardly dressed himself, making this all that more raw.  _

_ Her whine and clenching was all that took for him to release his built up tension.  _

_ Her labored breaths and reddened ass being further proof of their passionate love making.  _

_ “H-Hey, next time give me a warning so I don’t waste our coffee.” _

_ Our? He couldn’t help the warm feeling his cold heart felt from her words. No. He wasn’t allowed such pleasures. He simply huffed at her words, causing her expression to slightly fall. _

_ She wiggled her black, lacey panties back up and over her abused ass, before taking that red mug and pouring its contents into the porcelain sink. _

_ With a saddened smile she turned to him, her face betraying the chipper tone of her voice.  _

_ “Do you want a cup?” _

  
  


With a soft shake to his head, he pushed _ the mug _ aside, opting for a simple black cylinder of a mug. This mug was nothing special, it held no memories. 

The black Keurig sat against the tiled backsplash and was brought to life with the press of a button. With a rather obnoxious slurping noise, he allowed himself to place his black mug below the nozzle and a generic pod in the machine. As the Keurig worked its magic, he allowed his bottom to rest against the counters edge, arms crossed in a weak attempt to conserve more heat to his chiseled chest. A glance at the microwave, which stood at the same level as the cabinets, displayed the time of 2:34 A.M. He knew today would be a long day, dealing with this blonde haired woman who laid practically dead in his sheets, and left over work would occupy him and his time. 

A flash of lightning caused a shimmer to catch his eye from the living room. Atop one of the many side tables, laid a large, blue sapphire necklace. The weight that filled his chest at the sight could not be put into words.  _ The argument _ .

  
  


_ “Kylo please-” _

_ “No, you need to listen. Do not show up to my place of work without a proper reason!” _

_ “I just wanted to give you lunch. I know things have been busy and I wanted to make sure you were-” _

_ “You don’t get it, do you?” _

_ The way her doe like eyes widened at his words, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked up at him. She held small, glass containers full of various foods. He couldn’t recall what exactly had been in them as his attention was elsewhere. She had worn jeans, a large cream sweater, and her hair up in a ponytail, something he loved seeing her in. Upon her cream sweater rested that Sapphire necklace; the necklace had been a gift to her on Christmas. Gifts were a concept not common for Kylo Ren; why would he ever need to give a gift? It was only upon her explanation of wanting to give him something did he even bother to go out and purchase such a thing. It complimented her eyes beautifully, the way it shined, and brought further beauty to her already beautiful self. _

_ “You’re getting attached to something that is not there.” _

_ He explained, hands resting in the pockets of his long, brown trench coat. The expressions that her face expressed were plenty; confusion, anger, and sorrow had been upon her face in a matter of seconds. Placing the containers upon the side table, she was swift to remove the sapphire necklace, the sun reflecting through the windows and upon the gems surface.  _

_ “Then it won’t be a problem if I return this.” _

  
  


He hadn’t answered her question.  _ She had left _ . 

That day had been one of great regret. The small sputter of liquid from the Keurig signaled to its owner of the completion of its task. 

Kylo groaned and retrieved the warmed ceramic, blowing only briefly before swallowing the first bit of the blackened coffee. No need for sweeteners if all he needed was the caffeine. 

Walking towards the windows, he glanced out upon the many rooftops. The phantom feeling of her arms wrapping around his waist causing the hairs to raise on his arms. 

She had done that so many mornings, so many late nights. Mornings when the sun just hardly peaked over the horizon; nights when his thoughts couldn’t stop from racing. Her arms around him and small pecks along his spine in an attempt to both wake him and sooth him. 

A groan of annoyance left him as he smacked the mug against the kitchen counter, a portion of the darkened liquid splashing upon his hand; however, the pain seemed far and distant from that void that became ever more present. 

“Sometimes all I think about is you, huh?”

He chuckled weakly to himself, a foreign sensation trickling down his cheeks as he heard the small buzz of what he knew all too well to be his phone. Making his way towards the coat rack that stood before his doorway, he allowed himself to remove the small technology from the brown, long coat. 

A notification. A message from her.

> **Hi.**

It had only been a handful of seconds since its delivery and yet his head spun. He couldn’t make her happy, not now. How broken she looked when she left his apartment that day had haunted him in the weeks following. 

The woman in his bed should be her, smiling and comfortable in those blackened silk sheets. 

With his thumb print opening his phone, he couldn’t pull up the long lost contact any quicker. The ringing, nothing could be more anxiety inducing than this. 

“Hello?”

A soft voice called out, raspy with what he could only assume to be sleep. 

“I presumed it better to call… you…”

The nervous chuckle that escaped him must have pierced her into silence as the seconds ticked by slower than that of normality. 

“You called….”

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by 'Glass Animals - Heat Waves' for this work.   
> If you're a fan of Dream SMP you know this song is corrupting of your fyp xD  
> I might venture into writing for Dream SMP related individuals but I supposed we shall, wont we :P


End file.
